Half of my childhood is vacant from my memories. I’m missing something that should always be. You were my image of God and now I don’t believe. Remember when you could have been all I’d ever need?
Were you always there for me? That must have only been a dream.
There’s a little bit of you in me, but not the parts that count. I’ve repressed every bad seed you ever planted. You made me salt the earth. Guaranteed to never grow.
And as I see you more and more, I pray only that you fade. I fear that when you’re finally gone, there will be nothing more to say.
I no longer see the purpose of your figure. Just a shadow to darken my eyes. No matter the direction I’m going, I fear you’ll always leave my side.
There’s an empty seat at the table where my longing has always spilled. There’s an empty weight in my chest and it’s far too late to fill.
You were my image of God and now I don’t believe.
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